Exploring your body will allow you to know what you like and feels good. The best way to find out and put this to practice is through masturbation. Masturbation is for everyone and at all times -regardless of your relationship status-. Masturbation is not a problem, it’s actually a way of making you feel absolutely amazing.
It doesn't matter if you have been touching yourself for years or if you are just starting,
there’s always more to learn about ourselves. I invite you to look at yourself in the mirror and get familiar with your body. Pay attention to your curves, textures, colores, odor, etc. If you feel comfortable, you can start touching yourself slowly. Try to notice every sensation and, if something feels particularly good, keep doing it.
Pleasure is pleasure and there is nothing wrong with wanting to experience it. Most times, pleasure originates from bodily sensations, so explore EVERYTHING. Avoid going directly to your genitals and use your hands to explore all of your erogenous zones. Run your fingers through our ears, neck, lips, chest, etc., just like a lover might do. In fact, you can also ask your partner to do this while you focus on the sensations it brings you.
Maybe you’re wondering why all of this is important. First of all, remember that self exploration and masturbation are all about YOU. Your relationship with yourself and others will improve if you invest time and energy on YOURSELF. Masturbation is more than just feeling pleasure -we don’t have a problem with this though-; in reality, it’s a learning experience. The more you masturbate and explore, the more you learn about your body, what you need and how you like to be touched.
There’s a chance that you’ve had an orgasm during intercourse, however, it’s more likely that you haven’t. Why? Well, 80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Doesn’t sound too complicated. But, what happens? We all like to be touched in different ways. Unfortunately, your partner is not a mind reader, so it is YOUR responsibility to communicate exactly what you like and need to orgasm. You’ll only achieve that by KNOWING the answer.
There’s no better way to become “one” with your body than to take the initiative and feel more comfortable with it in the first place. Masturbation offers the opportunity to explore and, the more often you do it, the stronger the bond you and your body will have. In the meantime, your confidence and self-esteem will be positively impacted, thus promoting better intimacy and security in the process.
Self exploration will also benefit your body image by making you accept it and love it more during sex but also in your everyday life. Many people that practice self exploration report enjoying solo -and partnered- sex better and feeling more present in the moment.
Learning about your body will help you accept it, love it and feel more confident and happy in your daily life. Here are some other activities you can try to strengthen your relationship with your body:
Write a list of attributes you like about your body.
Take a picture -or many- of yourself with little or no clothes. Not necessarily to send to someone else. They’re for you because you deserve to feel hot and sexy. They will remind you that you are worthy of love, acceptance and pleasure.
Tell yourself -hopefully in front of the mirror- that you are amazing just the way you are and that you don’t need anything or anyone to make you feel good about yourself. You have earned the right to feel happy and sexy in your own skin.