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Ask Alexa: I'm having a hard time with depression and my erections

Dear Alexa,


I am a man of high expectations, what I mean by that is that for as long as I can remember I always had high expectations of me in everything I did. And now, I am having a real tough time dealing with getting my dick hard, and when I do get hard, it only last for a little while. I really can't express enough to you, what this is doing to my life and even my everyday functions. I feel less of a man nowadays, and I don't ever go out on family occasions anymore, and I just feel like curling up in this bedroom and isolate from the world. I have been diagnosed with depression not long ago. And now that I've also been out of work for a long period, I have no money for the meds! Please help me Alexa!


Richard (he/him)



hand holding a hot dog with a yellow backgorund


Hey Richard,


I totally get where you're coming from, and I want you to know that you're not alone in dealing with these challenges. Depression is extremely common, as well as experiencing erection issues. It takes a lot of guts to open up about personal struggles, and I commend you for reaching out. While I can't provide professional help through a blog post, I can offer some guidance and support (feel free to book a 1:1 with me here).

  • First things first, it's crucial to understand that your worth as a person isn't determined by your ability to get or maintain an erection. Sexual difficulties can be influenced by a bunch of factors like stress, mental health, and lifestyle. Dealing with your depression is key because it can affect many aspects of your life, including sexual functioning.

  • I strongly recommend seeking help from a mental health expert or healthcare provider. They can give you a thorough evaluation and offer guidance tailored to your specific situation. It's possible that your erection issues stem from a mental block rather than a physical problem, so medication might not even be necessary. And if it is, many healthcare providers have programs in place to help folks who can't afford medication. Reach out to local clinics, mental health organizations, or helplines to find out what resources are available in your area.

  • As you navigate this tough time, lean on your support network. Talk to loved ones, friends, or support groups about what you're going through. Opening up to them can provide the emotional support and understanding you need. It's important not to isolate yourself because that can make feelings of sadness and disconnection worse. Stay connected with those who care about you.

  • In the meantime, make self-care a priority. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Try out stress management techniques like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or diving into hobbies you enjoy. Taking small steps towards self-compassion and self-care can have a positive impact on your overall well-being.

Remember, healing takes time, and it's perfectly okay to ask for help. You deserve support and understanding. Reach out to professionals and those close to you, and take steps towards improving your mental health and sexual well-being.


Warm regards,

Alexa x

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