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Ask Alexa: I have premature ejaculation and can't last longer than 15 seconds

Dear Alexa:

I struggle with premature ejaculation. I have tried a few remidies but nothing has seemed to work. Last time when I had sex, it was only after already coming 4 times (each under 15 seconds) that I could go on for a decent time. What can I do?


Hey Pete,

First off, I want to say that you're not alone in dealing with premature ejaculation. It's a common issue that many folks face, and it's totally okay to seek help and solutions.

It sounds like you've tried some remedies already, but they haven't quite hit the mark for you. That can be super frustrating, but don't lose hope just yet. There are still plenty of options to explore.

Here are five solutions that might help:

  • Experiment with the stop-start method (also known as edging): Begin sexual activity as you normally would, paying attention to your level of arousal. When you feel yourself nearing orgasm, pause or slow down the stimulation. Take a break from penetration and focus on other forms of stimulation, such as kissing, touching, or oral sex. Once you feel the urge going away, resume activity. Repeat this process as needed to prolong the sexual experience and delay ejaculation.

  • Try the squeeze technique: Similar to the stop-start method, engage in sexual activity until you feel close to orgasm. Just before reaching the point of no return, gently squeeze the base of your penis for several seconds. This pressure helps reduce arousal and delay ejaculation. Release the squeeze and continue sexual activity once the urge to climax diminishes. Practice this technique regularly to become more familiar with your body's responses and improve control over ejaculation.

  • Incorporate more foreplay and relaxation techniques: Prioritize extended periods of foreplay to build anticipation and arousal gradually. Experiment with techniques such as sensual massage, deep breathing exercises, or guided relaxation to reduce stress and tension. Focus on creating a comfortable and intimate environment that promotes relaxation and enjoyment. Remember that sex isn't just about penetration—exploring different forms of stimulation can enhance pleasure for both partners. And hey, if they've already had 1-2 (or wayyy more) orgasms, however much you last starts losing meaning.

  • Seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sex therapist: Schedule an appointment with a doctor or sex therapist who specializes in sexual health. Be open and honest about your concerns and experiences, as this will help them provide tailored advice and support. They may recommend additional strategies, such as medication, therapy, or exercises, based on your individual needs and circumstances. Follow their recommendations closely and attend follow-up appointments as needed to track progress and make adjustments to your treatment plan.

  • Practice patience and self-compassion: Understand that overcoming premature ejaculation is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and avoid placing undue pressure or expectations on your sexual performance. Celebrate progress and small victories along the way, even if they seem small. Prioritize activities that promote overall well-being, such as exercise, relaxation, and spending time with loved ones. Remember that sexual satisfaction is about more than just lasting longer—it's about mutual pleasure, connection, and intimacy with your partner.

Don't forget, improving sexual experiences isn't just about lasting longer—it's about mutual satisfaction and connection. By exploring different techniques and prioritizing intimacy and pleasure, you can enhance your overall sexual satisfaction and deepen your connection with your partner.

Keep experimenting, stay open to new approaches, and most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way.


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